


After her departure

by Lasheslie



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, angst sadness and pain, suggestion of a possible loss/death im sorry.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-24
Updated: 2014-11-24
Packaged: 2018-02-26 20:15:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2664923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lasheslie/pseuds/Lasheslie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post episode 33. Carmilla is gone fetching the sword, trying to prove Laura wrong. Everything basically hurts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After her departure

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I ever post publicly a fanfic and english is not my native language, please be gentle ? Much love (and pain) from a fellow Creampuff xx

**« Please please please oh god please don't be gone. »**

Her hands frantically searched through every corner of the room. She was displacing every paper, opening every drawer, making a mess out of everything by overturning them on the floor.

Nothing.

No trace of Carmilla's presence.

And not much of Betty's either; Carmilla made sure to take her favorite clothes of the previous roommate. One thing more to add to the endless list of annoying habits the vampire had... For the exception that, this time, the "borrowing" was simply one more evidence to worry on. A pathetic one, maybe, for some. Carmilla had fled with _everything_ that belonged to her, as well as outfits she didn't have the strength of leaving behind. She couldn't have left without some anchor, some memories holder, and the only things she had found at the moment were poor Betty's clothes.

**« You _useless_ broody obnoxious vampire. » **

Laura cursed under her breath, a sob scraping her throat. Her fingers reached for her lips, suddenly paralyzing her in the middle of the room. She was an isle, an isolated element centered in this chaos, so tiny, so miserable. Shaking.

**« Please no, don't, this- this can't be true. »**

Her words were jerked, rhythmed by her fidgety inspirations. She slid to the ground, or collapsed, and curled up. She had been craving for an answer. Received one. A deceiving one. Which filled her with guilt and regret.

_« I'm sorry, Laura, for everything I've put you through. I'll get you the sword. I told you I've never been a hero, but for you, I'll try. Even if it's the last thing I'll accomplish. I- I l-. »_

The word had die on her lips, but even the obliviousness of Laura couldn't miss What Should Have Been Said. Carmilla had been so close to finally pronounce it. Wording a notion that has been slowly building up between the two of them. She did evolved from _"You're a child. And you understand_ nothing _"_ to _"Then who would buy the cupcakes ?"_ ... And then, lately, to _"Don't be an idiot. Of course I'm doing it for_ you _"_.

But neither of them actually got the chance to explore this new awareness. Because Carmilla was gone. Laura had pushed her away. All she had left was this hesitation on Carmilla's lips, the fraction of a second when she almost said it, then the drawback. And the pain in her eyes. Oh god. The way she stared at the camera for another second, making an excuse with the folds of her forehead, then turning away with cowardise.

How could she have been so oblivious about the vampire's state of mind before this ? On how much Carmilla has been trying to hold it all together, despite her primal terror ? The fear of her Mother, the remembrance of losing Ell, the fear of losing... Laura. She had no choice. She never truly had, not since the Dean took control of her life. Laura recognized that now.

But the now is too late, and the damaged is done, and Carmilla is gone, long gone. One video waiting on Laura's computer, that was the only thing left behind. A promise of some ridiculous expiation she needed to do to save Kirsch, to save the girls, but mostly, to prove herself deserving of living. To make amends to the damaged she had done since her transformation. To regain Laura's trust.

Yet Laura didn't need confirmation anymore. She had acted upon her feeling, upon her rage of being lied, being paternalized once again by someone she liked. And she had lashed out. Turned Carmilla away, shut the door, not even wanting to look at her, to allow her explanations. And Carmilla capitulated. Broken, she fled, but some higher feeling made her came back. To reccord this video. ... To go for this stupidly heroic quest from which she might never come back and all of this was  
b e c a u s e o f L a u r a.  
Carmilla might died and this was  
h e r f a u l t.

**« Come back, please »** , she sobbed. **« I need you. I love you. Please don't be gone. »**


End file.
